Has anybody seen my motivation?

I'm reasonably satisfied with a few small changes to my SOP, but I still plan to sleep on it for awhile and see if I am visited by a muse for more inspiration. The rest of what I have to do, that I find myself procrastinating on:

*Update my resume
*Finalize the 3 people to write Letters of Reference (LOR) and enter their names online app
*Dig up employment history for app
*Find an extra $50 laying around
*Hit submit

I want to ask my new boss for a LOR but I have only been there since Sept and I dont want her to think I am on my way out the door already. I also wanted to have a little more experience under my belt but I know I cant wait forever either.

Regardless, there is no reason why my motivation should have gone *poof* right now. I need to find a way to get my head back in the game. I guess studying for the GRE was very focused energy and the rest of the app is just more self directed and therefore...procrastinatable. (Wont find that word on the GRE)

Or it could just be that this is an area I dont feel as confident in compared to other applicants. Transcripts, GRE scores, essay - I can rock those. Relevent work experience and academic letters of reference? Not so much.

Statement of Purpose - Second attempt

Feel free to critique, edit and/or shred to bits...

Parenting a special needs child was not one of the things I factored in when deciding on a final undergraduate major. At the time, I chose Business Management due to the flexibility and seemingly open-ended career prospects it offered. I did thrive for several years after graduation, working in both the private and government sector as a database report specialist. My sons’ special needs were apparent early on and by the time he was officially diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome at age 4, I choose to leave full time work to support him as he navigated the world of school, therapies and social relationships. As he has grown, I am now in the position to re-evaluate my priorities and pick, for a second time, what I want to be when I grow up.

I have always had an interest in science and biology, which is why I started my college career as a Biological Sciences major. Communication Disorders, as a path to becoming a Speech Language Pathologist, offers me the opportunity to study the physiology of communication while also building on my desire to help children maximize their potential. Having sat on the other side of the table at IEP meetings, speech evaluations and therapy sessions, I bring compassion and understanding to the arena that will only benefit my work with future clients and their families.

My primary interest is working in a school setting, but I value the Georgia State Communications Disorders program because of its well rounded emphasis on all facets of clinical SLP experience, which will allow me to make a fully informed career choice upon graduation. Regardless of the location of my future career (school, hospital or private practice) I do feel a particular calling to working within the autism community, specifically with social skills development. My son and I were fortunate enough to be involved with a camp that teamed special needs children with neurotypical high school aged “buddies” and it was an amazing, life changing event for both sets of young people. I envision that the knowledge and experience gained from completing my Masters in Communication Disorders, built upon my business background, will allow me to help establish additional camps like this and make them accessible to more families in need.

While it’s been many years since I have enrolled in an academic program, I am sure you will find that my work and volunteer experience demonstrates my willingness to learn new things, jump in where needed and successfully complete the project at hand. I thank you for reviewing my application and look forward to the opportunity to meet the admission committee in person.

It's currently 440 words, limit is 500. The guidelines are: A 300-500 word statement of your professional/career goals completed on the online application. This is your opportunity to explain how your career and educational goals are compatible with those of the program to which you are applying.

It's over

Thank God. I no longer have to spend every waking moment studying. Now I just need to spend every waking moment worrying about my SOP.

I am very happy with my scores. All the studying and practice definitely paid off.

V: 640
Q: 720

Cram Night!

Well tomorrow is it. I take the GRE at 1pm and hopefully I will score well enough to put all of this study nonsense behind me forever. I likely wont get much done in the morning, since I will have the girls and am also interviewing a potential new on-call babysitter, so tonight is it.

Silly me, I just noticed the "Practice Questions" section of Powerprep. Previously, I had just gone straight to the practice tests. So I will try to slog through all 6 math sections tonight. I worked through all the antonym and word association sections already. I dont really think I need to work on sentence completion (got 10/10 on the one I did) and reading comp. Brain is way too addled to mess with long, boring text passages.

I would like to write 1-2 more essays, but with a broken A key, its very frustrating to type on my keyboard. So I'll just read a bunch of samples tonight.

Still sick. Still teetering on the edge of getting better or worse. Hoping all the vitamins and supplements I am taking will hold this virus at bay for 20 more hours. Then I can collapse into a wilted heap of sickness.

Consistency

Coming down to the wire. Took just the Verbal and Quant of my last Powerprep practice test and got the same overall score, just a 10 pt shift on each section.

V 620
Q 660

Hopefully that consistency carries over to a similar score on test day.

I worry about my vocab. When I run into a math problem I don't know, I can usually noodle it out and come to an understanding. When I see a vocab word I don't know, I try to memorize it. I have lists I have been working from. But unfortunately, I find that when I run into that word again, I cant recall it. I guess I just don't do rote memorization as well as I used to. If something comes with a "problem" and an "explanation" I do just fine remembering it.

This worries me just a bit, as I am sure I will have lots of anatomy and such to memorize for my program. I hope its just that those words will have meaning and value vs random words that I may never use again like upbraid, piscivorous or zephyr.

(to scold, fish eating and a light breeze...hmm in a sentence: I ignored his upbraid and concentrated on the zephyr while he ranted about my sloppy piscivorous ways.)

3 days to go. Still hoping this head cold gets better by Weds.

First actual simulation

I finally figured out the glitch that was keeping the Powerprep software from running and did an actual simulation - 2 writing sections, followed by Verbal and then Quantitative. My brain is fried.

I scored 610 V and 670 Q. I think my first essay, that I really struggled with might be a 3-4 and the second might have been a 5. Hard to say for sure. All in all, I would be thrilled with those scores on test day.

Now the bad news, my son seems to be fully immersed in the flu and I can tell my body is trying to fight it off. So far I seem to have a mild cold, but I hope, hope, hope that I don't catch the full fledged flu. Its too late to reschedule Wednesday's test without a huge financial penalty so its going to happen, flu or not. I just need every brain cell working at peak performance that day.

So if I feel worse tomorrow, I will be headed to Urgent Care and hopping on the Tamiflu express, even if my normal MO would be to fight it out on my own.

Salmon Rushdie wrote the GRE

So in the 5 min spaces when I am not cramming for the GRE or keeping up with life in general, I am working my way through Salmon Rushdie's Satanic Verses. One of the books I picked up off the $0.50 rack at the library, because I enjoyed Midnight's Children.

I am amused and amazed by how many Top 300 GRE Vocab words are showing up in this book all of a sudden. OK, I know why all of a sudden, because 1 month ago, I was not studying word lists. Just now lugubrious, a word I saw on 2 practice tests appeared. (morose, sad)

So either the GRE people skim through his novels for inspiration, or Salmon Rushdie wrote the GRE. Now since I am halfway through my second book of his, I hope it pays off on test day!

"I'm not wasting time reading a novel...I'm studying!"

Did worse today

Crammed in a math practice while 2/3 sick kids were napping. I am sure my brain is addled from the chaos. Two problems were definitely ones that I made silly errors on, some were complete wtf questions, some were ones that I realized my mistakes after review (several surface area Qs).

But one just really made me mad. It was essentially...

Joe collects bottles. He has 1374 bottles he purchased at $1.79 and 690 bottles he purchased for $1.27. What is the average cost of the bottles?

Sure, fine...multiple the quantity x price for both sets and then divide by the total quantity. But really...4 digits x 3 digits and then 6 digits divided by 4 digits???

I realize I live in a calculator age and my long division skills are lacking, but I timed myself after the test (I skipped it during the practice) and I was pushing 5 mins and still hadn't solved it before my son needed my attention. That's way too much time to expect to spend on one problem on a timed test where each problem is allotted approx 2 mins.

I hope I don't see anything like that on test day. If so, for shame GRE people. For shame!

Off to see if I can redeem myself with the verbal portion.

ETA: WOW! Best verbal score yet: 690. Combined with my less than impressive math score from earlier (560), it puts me over 1200. Getting there. Major math cram this weekend!

Slight improvement

Today's practice test scores:

610 Quantitative
580 verbal

Almost to 1200!

Writing Essays

I wasn't sure how much prep time I wanted to put into my Analytical Writing section, I figured I would get more bang for my buck by memorizing how to calculate the slope of a line (Y2-Y1)/(X2-X1) BTW

But I did some reading on the two types of essays - Analysis of an Issue and Analysis of an Argument and feel much more prepared on how to write then. The Issue essay is definitely more of me stating my opinion on a topic, using the format of a thesis, 2-3 supporting paragraphs and a conclusion, of course. The Argument essay involves trying to pick apart someone else' argument, deciding which logical fallacy they used and why its wrong. *need to brush up on those logical fallacies*

I wrote 2 essays and think they are pretty strong 4+'s (on a scale of 1-6). I will be happy with a score of 4. Anything higher than that will be gravy.

Maybe I will post my 2nd attempt at the essays here for comment. :)

First attempt at both

Did a practice of verbal and quant, one right after the other, to simulate test day. Whew. Brain is tired.

Scored 570 on Quant, which is just over 50%tile. Scored 560 on Verbal, but didnt get a %tile on that one. My goal is 1200, since I feel like I have something to proove, having been out of school and full time work for so many years. You know, that this mama still has a functioning brain, despite my daily routines consisting of dishes, laundry, freeze dance, polly pockets and alphabet games. I also fully expect my test day scores to be lower then the practice, due to the general stress and brain fatigue from writing 2 essays prior to getting to the good stuff. So I want to see my practices closer to 700.

I spent so much time on this one problem, because I knew I was so close, but kept getting some crazy fraction like 13/30. Turns out I just subbed a 3 for a 1. Dumb, dumb mistake! I dont have the luxury of adding mistakes when there are so many problems I legitimately have no clue how to solve. Plus I need to pace better, as I ran out of time and crammed the last few in.

I finished the Verbal with time to spare because ultimately if I dont know what FULBIQUITOUS* means, stewing on it for another 4 mins sure isnt going to help. So my Verbal pacing is great, I just need a psychic connection on what 100 words to learn. Or back to the Latin and Greek word roots list.

*Sorry no def on that one, just made it up. Looks like a real GRE word, though, doesn't it?

Took a break from GRE prep

And made a first attempt at a Statement of Purpose, otherwise known as the admission essay or goals statement. Grad School lingo uses the abbreviation SOP, so I'll stick with that.

From the admission info at GSU:

A 300-500 word statement of your professional/career goals completed on the online application. This is your opportunity to explain how your career and educational goals are compatible with those of the program to which you are applying.

I've been composing this in my head while in the car for weeks. However, once I set fingers to the keyboard...wow it was much harder. How does one simultaneously (and briefly) yammer on about how great they are, minimize their faults, explain away gaps and multiple major changes while declaring what they want to be when they grow up at the tender age of 36, without sounding like a complete tool.

I think I will be going back to solving "John left Detroit at 10am, going 45mph..." problems.

Time Line for the next 2 weeks

I purchased a set of practice tests from 800Score.com plus the GRE folks have 2 practice tests available via their free PowerPrep software. So I have 6 complete pratice tests to fit in (1 hr 15 mins for both Verbal and Quantitative, from what I understand) between now and the 18th. I also need to make sure I spend some time writing out a couple practice essays to get used to the format again.

So here goes...

Week of 11/2:
Mon - Fri - finish math review and practice problems
Sat - 800score practice test
Sun - PowerPrep practice test

Week of 11/9:
Mon - Tues- work on vocabulary
Weds - 800score practice test
Thur/Fri - review essay question guidelines
Sat - 800score practice test & pratice essay
Sun - PowerPrep practice test & practice essay

Week of 11/16:
Mon - Review math formulas
Tue - 800prep practice test
Weds - stress out all morning, leave for test before noon

OK, boringest blog post evah!, but its out there so I can refer back to what I need to do and not get behind on fitting in my practice tests (hey, I paid for 'em, I need to take 'em). Finding the quiet block of time to do that is tricky, so I have to depend on weekends and Weds mornings at the coffee shop. Darn kids have the nerve to expect to be fed and played with. P'shaw.

Hope I am not missing something obvious.

Scheduled the GRE

Yikes. I wanted to take the GRE sometime after the 22nd of November and there was a date I liked, 11/24 and 4pm when I checked on Friday. Unfortunately I had to wait til payday before I could be extorted, er...pay for the test. Come Monday, the latest test date for a non-8am test time was the 18th. My daughters birthday. Poor thing, her mother will be dreading the date of her birth all while she is looking forward to it. I could have taken the test at 8am on the 19th, but I would rather take my chances with the soon to be 4yo's love vs Atlanta rush hour traffic.

So now I have T-minus 16.5 days to retreive all of the lost high school math from the deep recesses of my gray matter. T-minus 16.5 days to reaquaint myself with the 5 paragraph essay format (I can no haz LOLspeak in my essayz). T-minus 16.5 days to learn such words as iconoclast, attenuate and propitiate.

(One who attacks traditional ideas, weaken and to appease for the record.)

The Where

I am applying to Georgia State University and West Georgia University. Those are the "closest" schools to me that offer this program. And by "closest" I mean both have the potential to be a 2.5 hour one way commute for me in the right Atlanta traffic conditions.

The When

My application deadline is Jan 15th. Which I thought meant I had until Jan 15th to apply, right?

Noooo. It just means I need to have everything in several weeks before the application deadline, according to the schools' websites. I think academia is going to kick my butt seven ways to Sunday. I just dont think in those kind of vagueries these days.

The Why

Once I realized my business degree and my prior work skills were not going to land me a job, I realized that I should consider going back to school. Not to mention, everywhere on the internet, I was being told that "Obama wants moms to go back to school!" and when the POTUS speaks, I listen!

I considered the jobs that offered what I valued...flexible scheduling, good hiring prospects, interesting work and decent pay. I considered teaching and nursing, both appealing to me for different reasons. I love science and human anatomy and would love to work in a clinical setting. A job that would coincide with my children's schedule also appealed to me. Which is how I set upon Speech/Lang Pathology. I think its a job I will enjoy, its less strenuous than nursing (which is important since I will be 40 when I graduate, as opposed to a peppy 23 yr old) and there are many options for flexible hours, including working in a school setting, hospital, nursing home, private practice, etc. I also feel like I have some knowledge of the world of special needs, as the parent to a special needs child.

The What

I am applying for a Masters in either Communication Disorders or Speech and Language Pathology (depending on the school) with the goal of becoming a Speech/Language Pathologist.

The Who

I am 36 years old, I graduated with my business degree in 1996, after changing my major a few times. I bounced from Biology/Pre-med to Theater, to Social Science and finally settled on Business Mgmt as the safe, employable major. It served me well since I graduated right as the internet was a wee tadpole, just sprouting its tail, before we all realized how vital it was to know what our high school valedictorian was planning to watch after she ate her dinner of lentils and homemade bread. I found my way to database reporting and enjoyed being a pseudo-techie, until the birth of my first child threw all of my former priorities out the window.

He was a challenging child, complete with an autism diagnosis and a few medical issues to keep up on our toes, who didnt like any of the childcare situations we tried. Trust me, we tried them all. So I left the work force when he was 4 and went ahead and had a couple more children to keep life interesting.

Once we realized that my hopes and aspirations of such luxeries like no debt, a finished basement and travel to different continents were not compatible with single income living, I decided to look into re-entering the work force.

Unfortunately, in those 4 years of child bearing and raising, while my database skills were becoming as obsolete as a corded phone, the economy tanked and I was competing for a job with all those people who had current skills.

Which leads me to The What.